I am inspired by the little things.
The way a child’s eyes light up as they catch the first glimpse of their parent after an absence, or how lonely a mere moment can be whether in solitude or in company.

I am inspired by music.
That in our voices alone lies the potential to create sound beyond any instrument man can fathom, or that we can perceive one combination of notes as sounding ‘unpleasant’ and another combination as sounding ‘pleasant’.

I am inspired by nature.
How a worm will relentlessly work it’s way through an apple, or how the leaves on a tree will hold on with all their might before plummeting to their death in a pile of others killed in action by something that can’t be seen.

I am inspired by irony.
How you only get stuck behind the person with 10,000 coupons to scan in the check-out line when you are in a gigantic hurry, or how happiness makes us cry just as much as sadness.

I am inspired by failure.
The reason I cry every time I watch the music video for Garth Brooks’ “Standing Outside the Fire”, or how I get so motivated to do something when someone tells me it’s not possible.

I am inspired by tragedy.
How the most honest and open-hearted feelings can be exposed in the wake of adversity, or to experience the restoration process after a prolonged downward spiral.

I am inspired by hate.
To learn the way the individual mind takes information and twists it into their own understanding, forever branding the truth with falsehood; or examining the fight against our human nature to immediately criticize those around us.

I am inspired by love.
Witnessing the difference in the way a person looks at someone they deeply love versus the way they look at everyone else, or seeing an old man still continue to open the car door for his wife.


What inspires you?

Isn’t It Ironic?

Here’s an insight to a character trait about me:
When I’m in a situation that bothers me in one way or another, I laugh.

Take for instance, conversations about weight.
I’m by no means skinny, slightly unhealthy even, and I’ll go as far as to say that sometimes I disgust myself with my eating habits. Now, don’t get me wrong, I got over my self esteem issues a little over a year ago by the astounding grace of God. I don’t hate myself. In fact, I love who I am, and even though my weight bothers me, I find myself beautiful. Flawed, yes. But still beautiful. I find no help in lying about my being overweight, I’m just being honest with myself. Denial has no place in my life.
So when I laugh about weight jokes (None of them from people around me, most people are nice and tell me I’m not fat at all… which is more annoying that if you’d just tell me to my face that I’m overweight), it is simply a copping mechanism with what still bothers me about my appearance. I don’t crack jokes at myself to fish for a compliment or to make others pity me… I crack jokes because it makes me more comfortable in the situation, more comfortable in my own skin. I use comedy as a means to ease the tension of the blatant truth that everyone is obviously avoiding. I use my own flaws as a way to make others see that there really is hilarity in belittling the things that seem too large to mess with sometimes. (Delightful pun, I know ;])

Another example. The way God corrects me by slamming doors in my face.
I stopped getting upset about it a while back. I used to mope around for a week, argue with him about who’s right and get angry or jealous at the people in the situation.
Now, I laugh. I laugh at myself because I should’ve known better. I laugh because it’s usually an ironic hilarity that is involved and for some reason I find it funny that it should happen. Again. And again.
There’s no use getting all bothered about it, and there’s no use in crying over it anymore. I know what God is doing, and this wouldn’t have happened if I had just stuck to the plan.
Instead, I step out of his urgings and back into mine and wind up getting burned… I knew better, right? So this laugh can be a “HAH! This is PERFECT!” kind of laugh or simply a “Well, that figures.” kind of laugh.

With both of these things, they are highly ironic laughs. I laugh in spite of my situation and because of it. I seriously can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself laughing at a situation because I don’t know what else to do. So when you see me laughing, and you’re thinking, “Is this really the right time to laugh or the type of joke I should laugh at?” Yes, you should laugh with me. Please don’t make it more awkward than it already is.

If you’re posing with me in a picture and I get shoved in the front like I always do, therefore being closer to the camera, and when using a wide angle, causing me to look larger than everyone else… Just let me remark, “Why do you always gotta put the fat girl in the front?” Laugh, and let me hide behind the other bodies. Please and thank you.
Or if you see me laughing at a conflict, hysterical sometimes, being completely cool when I should be thrashing about in an uncool way… Just leave me be, and laugh at the irony that is my life. Please and thank you.

Enjoy it. I don’t want your pity, I want your laughter. =)